Eight months later.
A premature birth.
I knew already I was going to write here again.
I'm happy I took this time to see everything with the distance.
I'm not going to make a resume of what happened in this months. I don't wanna be sad.
I just can write from where I start now.
More than one year without making love.
More than two monthes without having sex.
Out from the party scene.
Mostly by myself.
Working on a new project.
Still dancing and dancing and dancing but with a new soul, which I still don't know if is a better one or not. Just different for the moment.
Believing in God. Not believing in me. Not believing in people at all.
This sounds sad I know, but I don't feel it like that.
Few milestones to give me the direction. And who knows me, knows also what they are.
Not looking for love since a long time.
Not dreaming about love since almost one month.
But still people wants to enter in my life and I keep on wondering why, when in the end they are not brave enough to handle it.
Making tons of mistakes and errors, but at least conscious about what I'm doing.
This doesn't make me right, I know.
Angry, yes, I'm fucking angry. I'm kind of furious.
But I'm trying hard to forgive, and to forgive me.
In less than one month I will find out many things, and then finally I will be able to take same serious decisions and start defenetly a new chapter of my life.
Now I'm just waiting, that it doesn't mean that I'm doing nothing.
I'm doing a lot, but not like before.
I don't want the people knows. They made me confused, now, for God, they will be more confused than me. This is a promise.
And yes, yes, I don't give a fuck about what they are going to tell me, or to think about me, or to say around. They don't know a fuck.
They just know that Andrea who was used to smile shining, to give a warm hug, to say something sweet, to give love unconditionally.
Well, that was just a part of me, the most frightened part of me.
That part is still there, but I abandoned it as a milestone, because was too dangerous.
I'm wandering in the sea of possibilities.
I hope to see a lighthouse soon.
Andrea Maria Mirabile.
