Maybe one day I will be brave enough to write all this history. Right now I'm not. Too afraid, yes. I'm afraid to hurt the people that I love, to don't respect the privacy of all the people around me, to see so out loud what this is, in a screen, in the net, in front of everybody, avoiding the bullshit that I'm used to tell to myself in order to feel confortable in what I do, in what I think to feel, in what I fake, in what I evoke and cause.
I do not breath, not at all. I'm keep on trying... hard. Inhale - exhale - inhale -
....Am I hale?...
I don't know.
Ok, ok, the winter is here, even if I don't feel it, like I'm used to... less light, less sun, Luzern, that cold wind, nothing happen around... ...apparently....
But, actually, it's not like that. Is not like always. Nothing is like before and I don't even know myself.
Andrea Maria Mirabile, yes, still, but another one.
Finally? Yes finally!
And... you know what? Is not that bad the winter.
Really? ...
Let's see. For sure I'm curious to see where... where Andrea wants to bring me.
Why I write this in english? Of course, to make everyone understand... cause I like to share, cause I need to share, to don't feel alone or lonely.
I really thank my life today. I thank all those who love me, who think about me... cause I can feel them.
Yeah, I know, it looks like I'm sad, and maybe I am, but... you know... I always was like that and I don't wanna avoid myself. I'm sad cause all this joy, this happines, this love, this words, this bewildering beauty and perfection, makes me feel yearning, nostagic. You know saudade?
...cause, I know, is not forever....
Forever... such a bizarre word... such a bullshit... such a truth...
I want to thank my life cause here I am, with all the mess, with what I have, and whitout what I lost. Here I am, with my stupid faces, with all the laughter around me, with my silences, my tears, my funny way to speak this stupid language.
I want to thank You, for all you gave me, for all you are giving me and... yes... I'm fucking lucky.
You people. I would like to embrace you all, around the world.
Because today is a special day, and You were all with me.
Thank you very much.
I love You all.